Monday, September 12, 2005

Confessions of a 29 year-old dog

Greetings two-legged creatures. Wiley Dog here with an update on my health and other stuff that comes to mind.

First off, I'd like to thank my Aunt Maryee for allowing me to sleep in her room with her. I know she tolerates it when I groom (lick) myself incessantly. I guess I'd have to chalk it up to perhaps a nervous condition I have. I mean I lick my chest, my private parts, my butt, my paws; wherever my tongue can reach, I lick.

Another "issue" I guess I'd say is me and this itching business. It never fails, I always seem to feel like some pesky flea is biting me. I then get to scratching and scratching and scratching. My Aunt Maryee gives me a once over and occasionally finds a flea or two but that hasn't been since around August. I guess I've been doing it so long, I just do it out of habit. My equilibrium is starting to get off a bit so, sometimes when I get up to scratch; I topple right over onto the ground. But I'm smooth, cause if anyone sees me, I play it off like I was doing that on purpose. Never let em' see you sweat, I always say.

Along the lines with this itching problem I have, is I have had a few episodes where I had an itch on my back. Since I can't scratch, I bite. And yes I must admit, a couple a weeks ago after I had that heartworm shot, I got a little nervous and started knawing at my back until blood was drawn. Everyone in the house was freaking out. I was like, "What's the big deal?" Of course I couldn't see what they saw. Needless to say, I got quite a bit of hollerin' at by Mom and both my aunts about poking my nose towards my back. They put some pink lotion stuff on my back and I then decided to leave well enough alone.

I guess another confession I must make concerns my eating habits. In case you didn't know, dogs have the tendency to peruse outside and partake in dog made delicacies. OK, I've ate my own crap! Now, I said it. I know that's "gross" as you two-legged creatures call it, but I was under the impression if it was good at first going in, surely it might still have a "kick" after it's gone through the runner.

My aunts saw me chewing on my crap and both about barffed! I guess it's clear now why they won't dare let me give them a lick kiss as all doxies love to do. I do manage to get away with giving kisses to unsuspecting strangers who are unaware of my "issues". Come on, don't sit there and tell me you don't have issues, too! I know you do. Admit it!! Those who want grace and mercy must give it!

And my last confession for the day: as old as I am, I am still spoiled rotten. I demand to be picked up and placed in my Aunt Maryee's lap while she's on the computer. Hey, I need to know that she's saying exactly what I told her to say in this blog thing. She knows I want up because I start barking at her. I heard Aunt Jen tell Aunt Maryee that she's spoiled me rotten. Back in the day my old Mom, Clara Bush always had me in her lap. I always enjoyed that back then and I still do try to have my way today. Well, I gotta go.

Please pray for me. I had my chocolate bar last Friday, but last night I had a hard night. That coughing thing has returned. I haven't done my fundraiser yet, but will get my Aunt Maryee to get off her duff and get my photos printed up. It's gonna cost a few hundred after all this is said and done. So I hope all who are following my blog will support my endeavors.

One last thing. I have been praying for all the two-legged creatures and my furry friends who lost their lives on the gulf coast. Hopefully if I make some money on my fundraiser, I can help the survivors. Hey, every little bit counts right?

Much barking love,

Wiley Dog


  1. Wow! 29 years old! What a cute dog you are for your age. Nice blog!


  2. Wiley, You're such a cutie. You deserve to be spoiled!

  3. Thanks Cello and Chicco,

    You are two cute pups yourself. The best dream I ever had I remember I married a white Maltese and our honeymoon was on the French Riviera. I get a shake in my hind leg just thinking about it.

    Much barkin' love,

    Wiley Dog

  4. Reagan Smash! Reagan Smash!