Saturday, September 17, 2005

Old Dog, New Tricks

Hey two-legged creatures and furry friends,

Good Saturday morning to you. I wanted to talk about this trick I've come up with the ladies in the house. Well, remember how I told you I like that K/D food? Well, you know how that can get boring after a while. At least for me anyway. This past week, I've been taking my sweet time in eating my food. Well, I heard Aunt Maryee mention to everyone else that I had to have someone watching me while I ate in order for me to eat. Well, I don't know where she got that from, but I figured that was a novel idea. So, when they'd put food in the tray for me, I'd go and sniff it and then turn around and head to my bed and just look at them.

They'd start speaking in that high pitched voice that is really starting to irritate me these days as well as that "baby" talk, like I'm some puppy. I slowly wander off the bed and give them this, "Yes, may I help you?" look on my face, wagging my tail 100 miles an hour. "Here, Wiley, eat your food," they begin chimming in. Then Aunt Jen starting singing some "weiner dog" song she made up on the spot. It was like an ode to me. I got excited and started eating the food, thinking to myself, "I gottem' now." So needless to say, if I want to hear music to my ears and if they want me to eat...they better start singing.


Signing off with

Much barking love,

Wiley Dog

Monday, September 12, 2005

Confessions of a 29 year-old dog

Greetings two-legged creatures. Wiley Dog here with an update on my health and other stuff that comes to mind.

First off, I'd like to thank my Aunt Maryee for allowing me to sleep in her room with her. I know she tolerates it when I groom (lick) myself incessantly. I guess I'd have to chalk it up to perhaps a nervous condition I have. I mean I lick my chest, my private parts, my butt, my paws; wherever my tongue can reach, I lick.

Another "issue" I guess I'd say is me and this itching business. It never fails, I always seem to feel like some pesky flea is biting me. I then get to scratching and scratching and scratching. My Aunt Maryee gives me a once over and occasionally finds a flea or two but that hasn't been since around August. I guess I've been doing it so long, I just do it out of habit. My equilibrium is starting to get off a bit so, sometimes when I get up to scratch; I topple right over onto the ground. But I'm smooth, cause if anyone sees me, I play it off like I was doing that on purpose. Never let em' see you sweat, I always say.

Along the lines with this itching problem I have, is I have had a few episodes where I had an itch on my back. Since I can't scratch, I bite. And yes I must admit, a couple a weeks ago after I had that heartworm shot, I got a little nervous and started knawing at my back until blood was drawn. Everyone in the house was freaking out. I was like, "What's the big deal?" Of course I couldn't see what they saw. Needless to say, I got quite a bit of hollerin' at by Mom and both my aunts about poking my nose towards my back. They put some pink lotion stuff on my back and I then decided to leave well enough alone.

I guess another confession I must make concerns my eating habits. In case you didn't know, dogs have the tendency to peruse outside and partake in dog made delicacies. OK, I've ate my own crap! Now, I said it. I know that's "gross" as you two-legged creatures call it, but I was under the impression if it was good at first going in, surely it might still have a "kick" after it's gone through the runner.

My aunts saw me chewing on my crap and both about barffed! I guess it's clear now why they won't dare let me give them a lick kiss as all doxies love to do. I do manage to get away with giving kisses to unsuspecting strangers who are unaware of my "issues". Come on, don't sit there and tell me you don't have issues, too! I know you do. Admit it!! Those who want grace and mercy must give it!

And my last confession for the day: as old as I am, I am still spoiled rotten. I demand to be picked up and placed in my Aunt Maryee's lap while she's on the computer. Hey, I need to know that she's saying exactly what I told her to say in this blog thing. She knows I want up because I start barking at her. I heard Aunt Jen tell Aunt Maryee that she's spoiled me rotten. Back in the day my old Mom, Clara Bush always had me in her lap. I always enjoyed that back then and I still do try to have my way today. Well, I gotta go.

Please pray for me. I had my chocolate bar last Friday, but last night I had a hard night. That coughing thing has returned. I haven't done my fundraiser yet, but will get my Aunt Maryee to get off her duff and get my photos printed up. It's gonna cost a few hundred after all this is said and done. So I hope all who are following my blog will support my endeavors.

One last thing. I have been praying for all the two-legged creatures and my furry friends who lost their lives on the gulf coast. Hopefully if I make some money on my fundraiser, I can help the survivors. Hey, every little bit counts right?

Much barking love,

Wiley Dog

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Wiley Dog's Hunger Strike Is Over

OK, Here's the deal. I was trying to fake that I was alergic to dog food and for a minute there, it worked. Mom gave me pancakes on Sunday with sweet sweet syrup and Aunt Jen gave me a piece of white chicken meat from HEB as well. I thought to myself, "Hey, this refusing to eat dog food get up just might get me squared away with a la carte." That long big eyed begging look thing I do while they are eating two-legged creature food seems to wear em' down, too. I was too happy...

Then Aunt Maryee figured out that I was trying to pull the wool or shall I say, "towel" over everyone's head.

She grabbed that bag of T/D and left out with it. I was like, "Yes! No more horse biscuits!" I later found out that she called that Hill's Pet place and they told her that that had Small Bites in the T/D and not the dog biscuit size for little pooches like me. Sooooo, she's planning on getting those ordered for me some time next week.

She tried to feed me some of the Advanced Protection, but I did my famous "turn my back on you trick." Doxies with attitudes like me are nortorious for those kinds of tricks. Well it didn't phase her much cause when she came back home, she had a whole bucket full of that K/D.

I guess the gig was up, because she poured half a can in my bowl and heated it up in the big white hot box on the cabinet. It smelled like some kind of chicken meatloaf concoction, so she tricked me. Well, I was pretty hungry so I decided to stop with the shenanagans and go ahead and eat. One good indicator that I needed to stop was the fact that for the past several days I'd been going outside to do the #2 and nothing was coming out. Quite an embarrassing sight. Aunt Maryee was just shaking her head at me each time. Go figure.

Anywho, Aunt Maryee caught a shot of me eating the K/D for your viewing pleasure.

Keep praying for me, cause I really need it! I have started back with a slight cough again, but nothing like it was in the past. I can be a lil' hard headed, so pray that I take it easy. Remember, This Old Dog Still Can Hunt.

Signing off with much barking love,

Wiley Dog